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The First Draft

"Write drunk; edit sober."

Month

June 2017

Your eyes only

My love,

My heart aches for you. That will never stop. I will never understand what you’re going through, yet I empathize with you always. Your family is mine, and mine is yours. Your heart the other half of mine. So as I listen to you pour your heart out though these troubling times, all I can do is be a shoulder to lean on and friend. And hold back tears, because it is not my place to feel sadness. I must be strong for you, because you have been so strong for so long for everyone else. I will never understand why it is the people with the most pure, kind hearts who get stepped on the most. I pray to God He can relieve you from your pain, because at this point, He is our only hope. You and I are merely mortal, and I don’t know where else to turn. I’ve never experienced such anger and heartache and evil. I would do anything to help you in this time, but I am helpless. I can’t even hold you and tell you it will be ok. The truth is: I don’t know if it will ever be ok. I don’t know anything anymore. I only hope and pray that this is the last of the storm to pass through before we reach the end of the clouds. And you are so strong. Stronger than any person I have ever known. No one should go through what you have, yet you’ve done it with grace and maturity. My heart goes out to you. I love you always. 

Stuck in a bubble

I don’t understand how the rest of the world can continue with their lives as the lives of those around me are crashing down.

How I see people in the streets celebrating and smiling when I hear every day of a new reason to cry.

When the happiest person I know loses faith, and the smile falls from his face, yet others haven’t the slightest clue of his pain. 

And I can’t do anything.

All I can do is live. Or I suppose, pretend to. Go through daily activities​ as a zombie. 

Because I can’t protect the hurt. And I can’t mimic the happy. I can just watch from the outside as though I’m stuck in a bubble. 

Where I once was

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
      so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
     so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Psalm 103:11-12

I am not where I once was.

I am reminded of my selfishness. My bitterness. My jealousy.

I am reminded of those that I’ve caused harm.

But I am also reminded of how far I’ve come.

I think twice before I speak.

I put others before myself.

I love with all my little heart can give.

I have found something that has redefined goodness.

I am not where I was once. Nor will I ever be there again.

I am distant from that person. She’s just a memory.


In response to the daily prompt – Distant

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