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The First Draft

"Write drunk; edit sober."

Month

May 2017

I’ll just hold you

I’ll just hold you until it all goes away.

The bad. The tears.

I’ll hold your head against mine in the hopes,

That if I hold it tight enough, I can fix it all.

As your tears soak my shirt,

I can feel your heart beating against mine,

Swiftly. Trying to make up for the pain between your breaths.

I would wish anything on myself so you can be healed in this moment.

But for now I’ll just hold you in my arms.

—————————————————————————–

Written for someone whom I very much wish I could be holding in this moment.

Drowning

I could feel my face getting red. I was holding it in for too long.

He was looking at me, waiting for a response.

Just breathe. Focus. It doesn’t have to happen this time. 

Only thirty seconds had past, but it felt like an eternity. God, why couldn’t he just leave me alone.

I opened my mouth to say something but I retreated only to a deep breath to gather myself.

Are you alright, love? He repeated.

3, 2, 1. Detonation.

The dam had over flowed. The waterfall began to cascade.

The tears had started. And I was drowning.


In response to the Daily Post, detonate.

The Earth cries tears of red

The Earth cries tears of red as she mourns for her inhabitants.

Mother Nature sees no color, unaware of why the people kill one another because of religion and race.

Another son left on the battlefield as his family hopefully awaits a return that will never come.

A father out for a stroll, never thinking he’d become a statistic on the news.

A daughter who went to class eager for show-and-tell but left with a traumatic vision of a man with a gun.

So many broken hearts due to ignorance and lack of empathy.

So many broken bones and crushed souls and fear.

Fear that crosses borders. That looks past skin color. And gender.

It seems the only thing we all have in common anymore is the fear that strikes into our very beings when we hear about the latest tragedy.

The Earth mourns for her inhabitants. She dies just as we do.

Half

Life seems half empty,

Half sad,

Half cold,

When half of your heart

Seems half a world away.

The Hopelessness of a Romantic

hopeless (adj) 

     feeling or causing despair about something

Am I still considered a “hopeless” romantic if I’ve gotten everything I could possibly hope for?

There’s nothing hopeless about the situation.

Why is it always “hopelessly in love?”

I am not hopelessly in love.

I am blissfully in love. And joyously in love. And enthusiastically, freely, unequivocally in love.

How dare you degrade my love to being hopeless.

 

Be you for the first time

How many times did it take you to realize that who you are when they’re around is not who you are?

You believe in matters bigger than their thoughts.

One day you woke up and decided you didn’t want any of this.

Your childish social encounters up to this point no longer mean anything. It simply gets in the way of what you’d rather do.

One day you decided take off the mask, and you decided to be you for the first time.

Coffee Shop Vibes

First, I apologize for the typical Millennial title. I just went with the first gut feeling.

A small local-owned coffee shop is one of those places where reality seems slightly altered.

As I looked down at the leaf design in my frothy latte, I couldn’t help but get lost in the world around me.

We chose a seat by a giant mirror with the words “The Chamber of Secrets has been opened enemies of the heir… beware.” Obviously, any Harry Potter fan would have a ball with this place.

My caramel-and-chocolate-flavored latte satisfied both my taste buds and my soul.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the future.

What would happen if I looked for an extra job for the summer?

What would happen if I said, “Screw it,” to everything and just adventured?

How hard do I have to work for my dreams to come true ASAP?

The world is full of so many possibilities. It’s hard to find things to add to your plate that won’t push you over the edge.

It’s like when you’re a child, and everyone asks you what you want to be when you grow up. And the possibilities are endless.

And then you grow up and cross off 90 percent of those things because they’re unrealistic.

Except.

What if they aren’t?

I’ve reached a second part of my life where everything seems in reach again.

I can travel the world and blog. I can be the editor-in-chief of some high-class New York magazine. I can continue my education for as long as I desire, regardless of cost.

Each day brings me more opportunities. I am surrounded by individuals who inspire me and support me. I am surrounded by people who also believe they can leave this place and go anywhere.

Who says we can’t?

We are the future. And though we’re currently stuck in 8 a.m. lectures and spending our free moments studying in coffee shops, we will be the next CEOs and presidents. It’s undeniable.

The world is here for us to make our own.

And we will.

But first, I’ll finish my coffee. I have a long ride ahead of me. I’ll need all the caffeine I can get.

Fuel the fire

Fuel the fire within you.

Let it burn. Let it rage.

Let it lead you to marvelous things.

The world is full of so much hesitancy.

Do it. Don’t think. Just do it.

 

Fuel the fire with love and passion and emotion.

Spark the flame that creates an inferno.

A hint of light won’t do.

Fill with flashes of yellow and gold,

Until it bursts out of you.

 

Then watch as your fire spreads,

Creating a domino effect of expressive voices.

Can I live without you?

Can I live without you?

Of course I can. But why would I want to?

I could go on with my life, attempting to forget that you were ever a part of it.

And I would still be me.

But I would not be the me that I am when I’m with you. The better me. The happier me. 

It’s such an ugly thought, to go on without the thing that gives you joy.

Yet sometimes the mind wanders there. Only to remind you to never let that person go.

To remind you to value the things in life that mean the most to you.

So, can I live without you?

Of course I can. But why would I want to?

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